What is the most important thing you can have?
A while ago, I was talking to someone who had one of those life-altering moments. They realized how meaningless their lives were. How do they spend most of their day working, missing time with their kids, doing the things they dream of, just so they can pay the basic bills (mortgage/rent, car payment, insurance, food, cable/internet, clothing, school).
They get up and head to work right as their kids get up. Some days they see them, some days they don’t. Even if they do see them, it is only for a couple of moments and then off to work. When they get home, it is always right before dinner and they spend most of their time together at the dinner table, before getting an hour to spend with them (the kids are usually watching TV or on their phones) and then they go to bed.
They get another two hours with their spouse, again, usually watching TV or checking Facebook, and then off to bed so they can get up and start all over again.
They live paycheck to paycheck, never really saving anything or getting ahead of their bills. Most weeks include 6 work days of 8-9 hours a day, plus the commute to and from work (another hour per day). In total, they spend about 58 hours a week away from their family and away from their dreams.
During this moment of realization, the person told me that they were afraid this would always be their life. That they did everything they were told they were supposed to do: get married, have kids, a pet (OK, they have 4) a house, two cars, and a job. Isn’t that what we are all supposed to have? Isn’t that what our goals are supposed to be?
He didn’t feel like he succeeded in accomplishing these goals, instead, he felt trapped. He felt stuck in a prison of debt with no way out. He had gone from job to job following promises of big paychecks, and high commissions, only to find excuse after excuse why his employer doesn’t pay what he thought he would be making.
52+ hours a week selling things for someone he doesn’t even know or care about. A distant owner who pays almost no benefits, but who probably does have the time to travel, spend time with their kids and live a good life.
How does one get to that point? How does someone accomplish the most important asset available?
Time.
Is there anything more important today than free time? Time to do what you want. Time to do nothing. Time to spend with your friends and family. Time to sit in a hammock and watch the sunset. Time to listen to music. New music. Old Music.
I believe the time is the most valuable asset and one of the hardest for us to afford.
I didn’t have the solution or any answers for him on that day, but it has certainly made me think about this over the past couple of months about the value of time.
Following an unexpected illness a couple of years ago, I decided to prioritize free time in my life and while it hasn’t always been easy, I believe I have accomplished more than what I intended. I have given myself the gift of time and it has made a big difference in the quality of my life.
Our brains have been conditioned (through school, work, and TV) that we need to keep busy. You know, the busy bee has no time for sorrow (William Shakespeare). Well, there are plenty of quotes that try to make it sound as if you need to be busy in order to be happy. Here are just a few:
“You can really only enjoy life when you're extremely busy.”
Josephine de La Baume
'Crazy-busy' is a great armor, it's a great way of numbing. What a lot of us do is that we stay so busy, and so out in front of our life, that the truth of how we're feeling and what we really need can't catch up with us.”
Brene Brown
“The busy have no time for tears.”
Lord Byron
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it. Henry
David Thoreau
“I don't think I am a workaholic. I prefer to keep busy. It is better than the alternative.”
Sebastian Coe
“Be a busy person. People who are active are often much more at peace with themselves than those who are inactive and inert.”
Wayne Dyer
“The majority prove their worth by keeping busy. A busy life is the nearest thing to a purposeful life.”
Eric Hoffer
Well, I don’t think the act of being busy is what makes you successful, I prefer the following quotes which give time for yourself more value than being busy:
“You will become impressive the day you stop trying. You will become successful the day you stop being busy.”
Maxime Lagacé
“It is possible to be busy-very busy-without being very effective.”
Stephan Covey
“Just because we're busy doesn't mean we're being productive. Working is one of the most dangerous forms of procrastination.”
Gretchen Rubin
“Don’t mistake movement for achievement. It’s easy to get faked out by being busy. The question is: Busy doing what?”
Jim Rohn
“You will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it.”
Charles Buxton
“There is more to life than increasing its speed.”
Mohandas K. Gandhi
And one of my favorites:
“The six best doctors: Sunshine, water, rest, air, exercise, and diet.”
Buddha
I hope you will take a minute to think about your free time or lack thereof. Do you need more time to rest? To spend time with your family and friends? What’s stopping you, besides you?
You can’t just quit your job or drop your responsibilities overnight, but you can shift your priorities. You can pivot and make time as important as going to work. You can take more time for yourself.
Self-care is important.
And time is the most important thing you can have.
