HOW TO CARE FOR YOUR UNICORN
Do you and your partner love the idea of adding one other person to your sex life or even relationship? In the lifestyle, this is where Unicorns come in. They're sexy, single, and DTF—but also incredibly rare, hence why we call them "unicorns."
In my own personal Unicorn opinion, I feel like it's a lot easier to be a couple in the lifestyle than being a single person/Unicorn. While it feels very flattering to have couples flirt with you and want to play with you, it's important for the Unicorn to be just as selective as anyone else would be about their partners, if not more. This means having to turn people down, having very strong boundaries, and being mindful of not one but TWO partners who have an entire relationship going on without them. The pressure is real whether it means to be there or not.
When couples play together, they go back to their respective partners, after all is said and done, and have that everyday connection and interaction with each other as they go about their lives. The Unicorn does not, depending on the situation they're in and what the rules are between the three. When handled properly, the Unicorn relationship can be pretty hot and also a very positive experience for the couple (again, they don't call us Unicorns for nothing).
If you and your partner are looking for a Unicorn, or you have a Unicorn in your life, here are some ways to make sure you're taking care of them and keeping them happy too so they can continue to add that little extra sparkle to your love life:
Find out what their needs are beyond sex.
What are they looking for as a Unicorn? Are they wanting to be exclusive, are they looking to be in a relationship with someone else? Are they looking to be public or private about this? How often do they want to see you? How close do they want to get? Ask these types of questions to find out what their intentions are.
Find out their fantasies too.
Just as much as your Unicorn is there to please you & your partner sexually, you need to make it a priority to make sure they are sexually satisfied as well. Ask them about their fantasies and what they like in bed and if they would like to fulfill those fantasies with you. Be sure to ask consent for anything new you want to bring to the bedroom with them, just because it might be ok with your partner, doesn't mean it's ok with the Unicorn.
Be Friends
I find that the more connected I am with a couple, the better the experience is on a sexual level. I want to know my couple, I want to know their dynamic and be familiar with them as people. Knowing that the couple is also people I trust, allows me to enjoy the experience so much more because I feel comfortable talking to them, asking questions, and even saying no when I need to. Make it a friendly environment and take time to get to know them.
Be Considerate
Unicorns work, have their families and friends, and live their own lives. Do not expect them to be available for you all the time. Be sure you are being considerate of their schedule and personal needs. Make plans and be flexible with them as they are living a totally separate life from your relationship. If they can't commit to something, don't take it personally.
Do Not Treat Them Like a Marriage Counselor
If you're looking for a Unicorn to solve the problems in your relationship, you should really reconsider. Don't ask them to keep secrets, try not to vent too much, and keep them out of any domestic drama. If the issue at hand involves the Unicorn, that is different and should be handled maturely, but don't go to your Unicorn for answers on how to make your marriage better or say bad things about your partner. If the relationship needs work that starts with the two of you and ONLY the two of you.
Include Them in Fun Activities
There are so many lifestyle resorts, cruises, and clubs to go to with your Unicorn. Take them on a vacation with you, go to fun events, and experience fun things together. This doesn't have to be every time you and your partner go on a date, but creating a bond outside the bedroom will absolutely help create a connection that will allow everyone to truly give in to the pleasure of the experience.
Stay in Touch
Give them a call, text, or plan FaceTime dates to stay connected when you're not together. Try to do this in a group manner, not one on one, let them get to know you as an entity. I have a couple I talk to on a weekly basis on Facetime, we pour ourselves a glass of wine and chat it up for a little bit just to check in, say hello, and get to know each other. That means so much to me because it feels so inclusive and special.
Keep Them Safe
Safety includes everything from using the proper protection while playing to supporting them if you go to lifestyle events together. if they are there with you, be sure to keep an eye on them just like you would your partner, make sure no one is making them feel uncomfortable and that they feel safe. Be sure to always ask consent before trying anything new and communicate anything that you think your Unicorn needs to know that could affect them in any way.
Be Supportive
If your Unicorn ends up meeting someone and getting into a relationship or perhaps they find that they want to back out of your relationship, try to be supportive of their choice. Remember, you still have your partner, and they may want to find that for themselves. The great thing about getting close with your Unicorn is that when/if this happens, you can all discuss this like mature people and hopefully walk away with no hard feelings and the ability to still be friends.
