Opinions are like…

Oct 22

Opinions are like…

You know the rest; everyone has one.

Do other people’s opinions help you decide whether or not to go to a resort or restaurant? Do you take stranger’s advice on how to spend your money? This blog addresses reviews and advice from some of the places I have been recently and what I found.

While researching Temptation Grand Miches, I joined a couple of private Facebook groups and was a little shocked by what I saw. Most groups were filled with people looking to connect, who shared their booked dates along with photos and what they were “into.”

I also saw these groups as a vehicle for people to leave “honest” reviews, and that was the inspiration for this blog.

This (above) is why reviews are often not worth reading. The resort does not cater to a gay clientele and is way more diverse than just for swingers.

Agendas

First of all, before you read any reviews on Yelp, Airbnb, TripAdvisor, or in any of these private Facebook groups, know that people are posting with agendas. Some post highly negative one-star reviews to hurt hotels or restaurants because they want to convince others not to patronize the business because they think it is OK based on something that happened to them.

When it comes to a lifestyle hotel or event, it could be because they did not get laid, sometimes they had a legitimate complaint but overreacted, and sometimes it’s because of personal bias. Either way, if you see a 1-star review, you can almost certainly be sure there is a hidden agenda behind the negative review.

Often, their reaction is way overblown and much more dramatic than what actually happened to them. I see this over and over again. I have actually been with people when something minor happened, and they acted like it was the end of the world and promised a “scorched earth” approach because of this minor issue.

Cue eyeroll…

Today, we call these people “Karens,” but we used to call them a bellyacher, crybaby, or chronic complainer who never gets their way and thinks everyone is out to get them. They do their best to poison the well for everyone else, and they hurt businesses as much as they can in order to set things straight.

But it never does.

There are different agendas, and not only from people trashing places; some people will defend a place because they have an agenda, too. Maybe they sell the place (Travel Agent), maybe they work at the resort, or maybe they don’t like the couple who posted, but it’s important to know that agendas can go both ways.

I try to be honest and transparent. We do sell lifestyle resorts, and I have seen plenty of bad service, mediocre food, and poor maintenance in my 30 years of traveling to lifestyle-friendly and clothing-optional resorts.

I always report back to each resort with my honest opinions of the good, the bad, and the ugly. I do so in an attempt to help improve the experience, not punish the resort. I am probably more tolerant of resorts because I see it from the other side, and I know how hard it is to please everyone plus, I know the owners and managers, and I know that their goal is to exceed expectations. I have never met an owner or a manager who didn’t honestly care about their service or product.

No one is perfect, and problems come up, but we need to be reasonable with our expectations, what a resort can reasonably do for you, and what is reasonable when they do fail.

Compensation

When I started traveling some 30 years ago, people were different. There were no Yelp reviews, and people could not start social media campaigns to hurt businesses. A lot has changed in the past 30 years.

Not only have Karens been made famous on social media, but entitlement and compensation have become a thing. If the slightest thing goes wrong, people now want their room comped. They want free stuff; they want added amenities they did not pay for and more.

What is your time worth? If you have to wait an hour to get into your room, is that worth a free night at $700 a night, all-inclusive? There are not many people who bill $700 an hour.

If you had to move to another room because of a leak, should you get a free week’s stay? I am no longer surprised when I hear people ask for ridiculous compensation for minor inconveniences. Especially those that have nothing to do with the staff’s fault.

Sometimes shit happens.

Complaining about things no one can change

I used to own a wedding facility, and you would not believe the complaints I got because it was raining or the grass was not green enough during a drought. I had people ask if I could change all of our flowers out to match the colors of the wedding on Saturday afternoon. What about the colors for Saturday Night, Sunday, or Friday?

I had someone ask me on a lifestyle cruise if we could put showers in the playrooms. I tried to explain that this would mean running pipes into the space with water and then having to install drains that would collect the grey water and that it was impossible to install anything like this on a cruise ship for a 7-day charter.

“Then put in Japanese toilets with bidets or sprayers,” she said. I wish you could have seen my face when she thought installing toilets would be easier than showers.

I saw one particular review of Temptation Miches from a couple that was there during the time I was there, and his review was so far from what we experienced that I thought he must be writing about another resort. It was nice to see a lot of people post a reply to their “review,” saying that their experience was nothing like the poster.

We saw other people complain that the water in the quiet pool at Temptation Miches was green, but this is not true. The tiles on the bottom of the pool are yellow and green (not the best choices, IMHO), so the pool looks yellow or green, depending on the tiles, but where the pool tiles are blue or white, the water looks crystal clear.

I just want to scream every time I see someone say that the pool filter is not working or that the water is green. Come on, people, use your eyes and look at the actual water. It’s clear!

But what made me the most disappointed were the people who complained about the locals. At every lifestyle resort I have been to, I have heard this same complaint: people are upset because they let locals in.

First of all, they don’t just “let them in”; those are paying customers, just like you. And they don’t just do this at Temptation Miches; they do it at Temptation Cancun, Hedonism in Jamaica, Secrets in Florida, and almost every lifestyle resort I have ever been to except for Desire (and Temptation Grand Miches, which is pretty much a Desire Resort).

They say things like, “They took the place over,” or “I know they are bringing in drugs or prostitutes.” which are unsubstantiated assumptions that should not be considered as “facts” when reading reviews. In our experience, locals are great, they add to the experience, they know local places to check out and they were usually the last ones dancing at the end of the night.

Just the facts…

The crazy post I read kept mentioning facts, but they were actually giving opinions, not facts. In one part, they said that there were pimps and prostitutes everywhere. They went on to say that one of these “prostitutes” invited them back to her room to surprise their boyfriend, who was being lame. They assumed that this was a prostitute, even though she never asked for money and was inviting them back to surprise her husband.

They also posted about the “green water“ in the pool (which instantly meant they had no credibility). They also posted that they thought people were coming into their room when they were gone because they were pretty sure they left the lights off, but one was on, so someone must have broken into their room. No reports of anything missing or stolen, just some random person breaking into rooms so they can turn on a light or two.

You can see in this photo that the water initially looks greenish-yellow, but that is because of the color of the pool tiles. If you look at the bottom of the pool, you will see that it is blue and crystal clear. You can also clearly see the white edge, which is white on the top (and is underwater) but green on the sides, due to the reflection of the tiles.

I must have read at least ten different reviews where the poster wrote a review about the “dirty” or “swamp-like” green water in the quiet pool. I do not know how they could not see the blue bottoms or maybe they just didn’t care.

I honestly think some of the complaints are done on purpose with hidden agendas to hurt the resorts they are reviewing. I was at the resort when the person who complained about the pools was there, so we knew his complaints were not true about the pools being dirty and cloudy. They were all crystal clear.

Other people responded by saying, “Thanks for reporting all of these facts.” My eyes rolled every time I saw someone taking this absurd review as fact. These are not facts; they are someone’s opinion, someone who is in the minority, because most of the people we talked to loved the resort, and most of the reviews are very positive.

To dress up or not at all…

One of the biggest discussions I saw was whether or not people dressed up in theme, went topless, or got naked (in the clothing-optional areas). I saw post after post complaining that not enough people dressed up in theme, so they didn’t. Not enough people got topless or naked, so they didn’t.

One couple posted, “I brought a costume for every theme night, and we LOVE dressing up, but we never did ”

I mean, seriously, people. Do you make all of your decisions based on what everyone else is doing? How about putting on that costume, the one you LOVE wearing, and maybe someone else will dress up the next night and more the next night? Pretty soon, costumes are trending, and YOU made it happen.

Stop being a follower and be a leader. Better yet, do what you love to do and don’t worry about what everyone else thinks.

Several people stated that they did not go topless because they felt like people were looking at their boobs.

So what!

Again, maybe if more people went topless, it would give others the courage to go topless, too. Instead, your top is probably keeping them from going topless, and you are part of the reason topless is not trending.

Resorts do not have a “Vibe,” people do

I saw many people asking about the “Vibe” at the resort. Is it like Hedo? Is it like Temptation Cancun? How many people are naked/topless? Are many people dressing up?

No matter how sexy a resort may be, the true vibe comes from the people staying there, not the actual resort. I have always said that I could have a party anywhere and also that the coolest resort could suck with the wrong people.

People blame the resort because they did not click with anyone, the people were too old, or they did not play enough. Well, I have a solution for you: bring your own party!

When I travel, I always invite a bunch of friends to join me, and I always know I will have a good time because I know my friends, and they know me, and we all know we are going to have a blast. We try to meet others and increase our circle, but no matter what, we have our friends, so we know we are going to have a good time.

Even when traveling without friends, we always try to be open to meeting new people and finding people like us. I never go looking for new partners; I go looking for things we have in common to talk about, and it doesn’t take long to find others we click with (and those we do not).

Either way, I could keep 100% to myself at a place like Desire, Temptation, Hedo, or Secrets and still have a blast because these places allow me the freedom to be who I am, and they all have an atmosphere of freedom that you simply cannot get at a Marriott, Holiday Inn or other “vanilla” hotel or resort.

Complaining takes a lot of effort, and I have better things to do than start a smear campaign or try to convince others to stay away. Instead, I believe in constructive criticism, when appropriate, along with the good things we found at the resort.

Most hotel managers and owners really want you to have a great time because they want you to come back. They take complaints seriously unless they are crazy, like some of the examples below. They would be funny if they weren’t so bad.

I do not think the resort is at fault because this person could not find the beach, I mean come on people.

I still do not know if a 2 cm ribeye exists and I do not think people are just lounging around waiting to switch partners.

A flea dip? That’s pretty descriptive. Glad I never had to take any flea dips while I was there. BTW, The water in the shower was fine, never smelled bad to me.

Conclusion

Judge a place for yourself. If you have a bad experience, notify someone who can address it and move on.

Know the difference between facts and opinion.

Don’t let a small group of strangers sway you. Ask friends who have been, but keep in mind that just because they are friends, they can still have agendas.

Take the survey and give clear, constructive criticism, but also highlight the things that met or exceeded your expectations.

Bring friends with you!

Be Happy! Be positive! It is easier (and healthier) than being negative.

Don’t sweat the small shit.