I’ll Always Be Here for You

The other day I was doing my daily guided meditation called Cultivate a Positive Body Image. It told me to stand in front of a mirror and think about what I see. Were my thoughts positive ones or were they negative ones? It was a good exercise in learning to control your own thoughts. The meditation pointed out that you may be looking at your stomach, thinking negatively, but then they pointed out the positive things to look for… and it made me notice the positive while looking in a mirror. Then the mantra came up, where you get to repeat the mantra to yourself for several minutes… and the mantra was: “I’ll always be here for you.”

I’ll always be here for you. That is what I say to other people… but have I ever said it to myself? A lot of people are caregivers… whether it be pets, kids, partners, or for some, eventually parents that we tend to focus our time and energy on, all before thinking about ourselves. We have gotten in the habit of putting the wants and needs of others before we even think about what we want or need ourselves. It is a learned behavior and while visiting my parents last month, I finally realized that I learned it from my mom. She would work and work, taking care of everyone else to the detriment of herself. She was always there for everyone… but was she there for herself?

I have talked to my mom about the journey that I’m on now, the journey of taking care of myself and I’ve been pointing out these things to her, hoping I can get her to start taking better care of herself. To notice the pattern of behavior that is keeping her from putting herself first for once. It is a struggle, but she is listening to me a little. It’s time to break the cycle.

I find myself from time to time falling back into the same patterns of not being there for myself… and this meditation was a reminder to take care of myself… I am proud to say to myself while looking in the mirror… I’ll always be here for you.