How to Master Casual Sex
There are many ways of defining what casual sex is, but by and large, casual sex is consensual sex outside of a romantic relationship or marriage, usually without any strings of attachment or expectation of commitment or exclusivity. Some may call it a hookup, one-night stand, booty call and refer to their casual lovers as “friends with benefits” or f*** buddy.
In the lifestyle, casual sex is celebrated and even encouraged. The very definition of your lifestyle friends, are those in your social circle with who you may or may not have casual sex. At the end of it all, it’s the friendships paired with the casual outlook on physical intimacy that creates this entire persona of “swinging” or the lifestyle. With Naughty N’awlins 2021 coming and things opening back up, we know you’re ready for some sexy casual fun.
So here’s a little refresher on how to approach casual sex in the most mature and respectful way while protecting your own emotional well-being. Take a look at the tips below, and always remember: consent is the #1 rule, and always use protection.
Here’s how to master casual sex:
Be Clear About What’s Going On
Be open from the start. If you are not looking for a relationship, or to add to your relationship, or if this is just a one-time thing, say so. Don’t lead people on or play with their emotions. Being comfortable enough with this person to tell them exactly what this is and isn’t to you is key. If you feel you cannot be honest with them, you may need to rethink this tryst.
Don’t Give Away Personal Information
This person doesn’t need to know your whole life story. They don’t get access to information about your family life, finances, or exes. Stick to talking about things you both like to do, mutual tastes, and flirty nuances. Keep it light and fun to eliminate the risk of getting too emotionally connected.
Don’t Make it a Regular Thing
If this is becoming a weekly or daily thing with the same person, eventually it will become a deeper connection for at least one of you. If you are already in a relationship and you are consensually exploring sex outside of that relationship, be sure you check in with your partner about their feelings toward this outside connection. If it becomes too regular, it will eventually start to feel like a relationship in some way.
Set Boundaries
This is the key set of rules you need to make this all work. Maybe it’s no sleepovers, no dating without your primary partner, a set time where texts and calls are not appropriate. These boundaries need to be explained early on and stick to them.
Watch How Much Personal Time You’re Spending With Them
Personal time can be anything from texting, calling, FaceTiming, dating any kind of connecting you’re doing outside the actual act of sex. If you are single and having casual sex, it may be confusing to the other person as to why you are spending time together yet it’s just seen as a casual affair. Quality time is so intimate that it’s actually one of the 5 love languages. Be careful with your time, because when it comes to love, it’s very valuable.
Control Your Emotions
In order for this to be casual, you have to accept the fact that your partner is likely talking to, seeing, and being intimate with other people. If you are feeling jealous, angry, or hurt by this, then this is not a casual situation. In this particular scenario, it doesn’t make sense to get upset or jealous if it was clear from the beginning that this was only supposed to be a casual affair. If you are feeling uncomfortable at all, be sure to discuss that with your partner.
Make It Fun
The best part about casual sex is that it’s not a serious thing. Which means you can enjoy it without feeling too invested in your connection with this person. Try freaky positions, toys, dirty talk, having sex in places you normally wouldn’t. Keep it light, mind your manners, be safe and continue to communicate with each other.
