Life is a Rollercoaster
I’m not a fan of roller coasters.
At the end of each year, I reflect on the year to gauge my success in achieving my goals and to measure the quality of life I had during the previous year. Thanks to the recent COVID years, that was not always something I looked forward to, and this year is no different.
This year, I certainly had higher highs and lower lows for me. I feel like I have been stuck on a roller coaster most of this year when all I wanted was a steady, stable ride.
2023 was anything but that for me.
As a kid, I never liked roller coasters. I have always been afraid of heights (acrophobia), and it has gotten worse for me over the years. It’s an inner ear thing for me, I feel dizzy, and I get a feeling I am being sucked over the edge when I am up high, so roller coasters are not my thing.
Whether real or virtual, it’s an unpleasant feeling when facing dramatically different emotions associated with high and low points in our lives. Like a roller coaster, I sometimes get dizzy or anxious when these “roller coaster” emotions spring upon me unexpectedly.
Many will be surprised to know that I jumped out of a helicopter for a living and was often hoisted down on a cable up to a maximum of 240 feet. Dangling from a cable over 150 feet above the water and walking on a cliff is not what most people would expect from someone afraid of heights. But I learned that the “fear” is just a temporary uncomfortable feeling that would soon be gone, especially the more I focused on the job.
This attitude has helped serve me well during an emotional roller coaster year that saw record success in my business as well as a tragic fire that consumed everything I own. In both the high and low times, I was able to focus and understand that these emotions, which were often all-consuming, would pass, and I would be back to normal soon.
My rational self knows that I only lost stuff and it can all be replaced, my emotional self teetered on a virtual cliff wondering if I would fall to the bottom or make it back down to the top. It’s hard to balance your rational and emotional feelings to get to the other side.
They don’t teach this in high school. There are no classes that teach skills for mental health issues or unexpected crisis management.
Even though I learned how to be mentally tough while going through both USCG and Navy Rescue Swimmer Schools, we were taught to get through it no matter what, but we were not trained for the emotional baggage we would carry when we got home.
Many of the people I served with suffered from PTSD, anxiety, depression, and alcoholism. If you couldn’t handle the stress, you were weak, and you were told you needed to be strong.
Suck it up, buttercup.
Thankfully, I was eventually able to find a therapist who could help me deal with the emotions that were never addressed in any of my public or military schools. I learned about the different stages of grieving and what we need to go through before we can heal.
I learned how to release attachments and thoughts that did not serve me well. I am still learning.
We exercised every day to become strong, but no one taught us how to be emotionally strong. Meditation is one of the best exercises I have found that helps calm my mind and release anxiety, but it is an ongoing process. It’s not a one-time fix; it becomes maintenance for your well-being, part of my self-care program.
Luckily, today, there is a lot more talk about mental health issues. Doctors understand more about how our brains work. More importantly, there is more compassion and acceptance for those who have PTSD and mental health issues.
There is a lot more awareness and treatments available that were never offered in my earlier days in the military. We used to say, “You have to go out; you don’t have to come back,” but that has been replaced with risk assessment training to ensure we are not risking more than we can gain.
As I look back on 2023 and decide that I want to get off this roller coaster ride, I also understand that things could be worse. I easily could have perished in that fire, but I didn’t. I guess there is more life left for me to live.
If I were a cat, I might be in my eighth life right now, but at least I am still kicking and enjoying each day with gratitude.
Many of my friends have commented on how well I have handled some of the low moments this year, and I harken back to my training. I try to get through this one hard thing. I focus on accomplishing one thing at a time, and when that hard thing is over, I take a moment to be thankful that it is indeed over. It doesn’t mean everything is okay, but at least I am not suffering in that moment anymore.
And for that, I am grateful.
I have a wonderful family, terrific friends, and a loving and caring partner. Last night, as I was thinking about writing this blog, my dog snuggled up to me and laid her head on my neck and shoulder. I smiled and felt at peace. I remember feeling exceptionally grateful in that moment.
Gratefulness is truly a gift.
I hope everyone takes a minute as 2023 winds down to not only reflect on the tough times over the past year but also be grateful that you made it through.
Because that is what truly makes us strong.
If you suffer from depression or anxiety and you need to talk to someone, here are a couple of great resources. Please reach out and talk to someone, it could make a big difference in your life.
Crisis Text Line
Text HOME to 741741
Disaster Distress Helpline Online Peer Support Communities
Disaster Distress Helpline Videophone for American Sign Language Users (PDF, 180KB)
National Domestic Violence Hotline
(800) 799-7233
National Grad Crisis Line
(877) 472-3457
National Sexual Assault Hotline
(800) 656-4673
National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
988
Chat online
National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (options for deaf and hard of hearing)
For TTY Users: Use your preferred relay service or dial 711 then 988
Chat online
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration National Helpline
(800) 662-4357
Veterans Crisis Line
988, then PRESS 1
Text 838255
Chat online
