It Takes a Village
Life has a funny way of being particularly difficult sometimes. It’s rather easy to get overwhelmed and “bogged down” by the little things in life, let alone big issues. And, like many of us, navigating change, of any kind, has never been easy or fun for me. Since the COVID pandemic, I’ve experienced more change and turbulence than I could have possibly imagined dealing with, especially on my own. Having a unique support network to lean on has made all the difference.
Getting a breast cancer diagnosis was NOT on my bingo card of life, especially before 25. It hit out of the blue when everything felt rather resolved. Everyone knows someone affected by cancer, and experiences vary. Thankfully, that chapter is closing quite sweetly for me. October is, coincidentally, my least favorite month of the year now. There are constant reminders of the uncertainty of the future, and every test, scan, and procedure. Every pink-washed commercial, product, or targeted ad reminds me - in a rather unpleasant way - that life will ALWAYS be full of the possibility of recurrence and medical appointments that never really end.
The ups and downs of my journey are studded with people who never stop showing up. I’m rather fortunate to have two partners who are in the same town as I am, with other partners of their own (my metas), and a plethora of open-minded - or open-relationship - friends who check in on me. They’re the kind of people who sat with me in the infusion room, the ones who bring meals over, take me to appointments, and make sure I leave the house to go be a human again. They’re people of substance, masters of distraction, and professionals at knowing the right things to say. Somehow, they fell in my lap when I was least looking for it. This relationship style suits us, though.
Polyamory isn’t a new idea for me, for my partners, or for society in general. Many people who find themselves in Poly relationships have felt the “something missing” feeling in typical monogamous relationships. My network of partners, metas, and other open-minded friends in the lifestyle has been instrumental in navigating change and difficulties. It truly takes a village, each of us with our own baggage we bring into the mix. Our group, lovingly nicknamed “the Octagon,” has no shortage of ideas and suggestions for each other. Nights together often turn into sessions to solve issues as people who are vested in each other’s well-being, gossip sessions, or just plain game nights.
Life and the challenges it brings aren’t any less prevalent. Poly doesn’t necessarily make life any easier, but it does help me breathe just a bit easier knowing the burdens we all have aren’t ours to bear alone. It helps to know that our struggles and issues have a sounding board of our Octagon. As the month finishes, this is my very personal reminder to EVERYONE to do their self-breast exam - check for anything you think isn’t your normal. Advocate fiercely for yourself if you feel like something is wrong, and don’t stop advocating until you get the answers you’re sure of.
