This is a 5 part series that will highlight the Top 10 things that have changed in the past 25 years when it comes to swinging. Here is part 1, you can click on the link at the bottom of the article to see the other 4 parts as soon as they are published.

Part 1: the Internet and Tolerance

How many of you remember these magazines?

Times have changed over the past 25 years and the swinging world is no different. Changes in people’s attitudes, especially towards gay marriage and LGBT rights have made it easier to throw events and open clubs. Today clubs are more out in the open and it is easier to find people that are non-monogamous living an open lifestyle thanks to two major influences that were the biggest difference in the expansion of sexual freedom over the past two and a half decades.

1. The Internet

Twenty-five years ago we were in the dot.com boom. America Online, which started in 1985 was at the height of its popularity in the late 90s. You could go into “Couples Chat” rooms and talk to other open-minded couples in real time. You could send and receive pictures immediately (well, it took a while to download at those old 14.4k speeds).

Prior to this, you had to put an ad into a “swinger magazine” and you could find them in adult bookstores. Many people were intimidated to go to these stores and buy a magazine, and even if you did, you would have to spend weeks mailing to the magazine only to wait weeks for a reply, or no reply at all. Nothing changed swinging more than the advent of the internet.

As time passed, lifestyle websites like Lifestyle Lounge, SDC, and SLS would emerge and give people their private (aka secret) place to look for other people with the same fetishes, fantasies, and sexualities. As the internet speeds got faster, people could post personal profiles so people could learn what they looked like and what they were looking for. Soon videos were added and sending and receiving photos was instantaneous.

The internet allowed clubs and events to market easily and people could use Google to search for them. In 1995 there was one big event where people would meet other people and hope to find some couples that lived nearby their homes. Now, there are thousands of events, parties, clubs, and Meet & Greets and we can find them quickly on the internet.

Social media soon replaced “swinger sites” as the most popular places to find other couples and singles. Dating apps came along and gave people ways to find “hookups”. The internet has been the single most important factor in changing the world of swinging in the past 25 years.

2. Coming Out and Tolerance

We know many people today that are open about their lifestyle, whatever that may be. Whether they are nudists, swingers, or into BDSM, more and more people post about their “kinky” side on social media and more and more families, friends and coworkers are aware of people who are more sexually open.

This was certainly not the case 25 years ago, when everyone was in the closet, sneaking out to clubs or attending private house parties. Many never attended anything because they didn’t know where to go or how to proceed. The internet changed all of that and helped “normalize” alternative lifestyles.

Harvey Milk believed that the more “normal looking” people that came out, the more people would accept gay men and women. He was correct.

Prior to Harvey’s time, almost no one in Hollywood dared come out as gay or fear their career over. It was the same with sports, in the corporate world, and in many aspects of life. The image of a “gay man” was a flaming, cross-dressing transvestite that most people could not understand or tolerate.

Then something happened…

More and more people started coming out and the internet showed the world how different people, even normal-looking people, could be gay. All of a sudden, people had a favorite uncle that they found out was gay, someone in their office that they respected. Their child came out as gay and while they might have been intolerant before, now that they personally know someone (a friend, family member, coworker, etc…) their tolerance changed.

The stereotypes were shattered and more and more people came out, as more and more people saw gay characters on TV, in movies, in music, and on the internet, tolerance for people that were sexually different (not just gay men) tolerance followed.

There was also a surge in economic advantages to being LGBT-friendly. Corporations understood that there were a LOT of people that would buy more products from more tolerant and inclusive brands.

**On December 13, 2022, DOMA was repealed and replaced by the Respect for Marriage Act**, which recognizes and protects same-sex and interracial marriages under federal law and interstate relations.

Hotels changed their discrimination policies to include sexual orientation and finally, in 2015 the Supreme Court recognized gay marriage as an American right.

Without advances in tolerance towards different people’s views on sexuality, we wouldn’t be where we are today. And while the internet again played a big part, we believe that coming out has made just as much of a difference.