I'm Thankful... how about you?

I’m Thankful

  Today is Thanksgiving in the US. A holiday many stop to take the time to be thankful for what they have, for their family and friends. Today I look back on my life, in order to reflect on where I’ve been, what I have been through so I can measure my own level of thankfulness.

 As I contemplate all of the changes that have defined my life, I come away with two conclusions: I am happy and I am thankful.

 Are you thankful?

 Do you really, truly feel fortunate for your life, your current condition, are you satisfied?

 My life has changed a lot over the years, from college student, to military career, to Vice President of a local business to business owner. Through all of my life’s changes, twists and turns, for the most part, I have remained flexible and I have adapted to change.

 While many fight change, I learned early on (thanks to some great mentors in my life), that it is better to deal with change than fight it. In the end, you will find more peace, and I have.

 I am thankful I have been able to travel

 My travels have taken me to some of the poorest countries (Thailand, Mexico, Central & South America) and I have been lucky enough to get to know people in these places. This is where I have seen some of the happiest people.

 Why?

 In the case of Thailand, many subscribe to a Buddhist philosophy, and they believe that this is not their only life. That while they may be poor and suffering, they will be better in their next life. Their current suffering is simply payment for their future happiness.

 Thailand has a nickname of the “land of smiles” because for the most part, everyone is smiling and happy, even when things are going wrong and life is difficult. My trips to Thailand taught me a lot about not worrying about what we cannot change and how to be happy even when things looked down.

 In Mexico, I met families that lived in some of the poorest areas. I met a mother of a family who lived in a 10’ X 10’ cinderblock room that she shares with her sister. The beds are wall to wall, with just enough room for one dresser and barely enough room for one person to get dressed.

 Her entire “house” for her and her sister is that one room. Her kitchen is outside, no oven, no stove, they build a fire to cook. Many times they have no water, they have no septic.

At first I felt sorry for them. I looked at their living conditions and I thought to myself, damn, how terrible it must be to live like this. And then I learned a very important lesson after getting to know them better…

 They are happy.

 I mean, very happy. More happy than most people I know in the US.

 I know so many people that have a house, two cars, a fenced in yard with a pool, they have a job that pays well, they have 2.5 kids and a dog. Probably a cat too.

 And they are unhappy.

 I mean, really unhappy.

 They are always stressing about their bills, about getting the next new iPhone, or a bigger TV or a new car. Their kids education costs are going up, how will they afford to keep their kids in private school? They feel unappreciated at work, their marriage has grown stale.

 Can money buy happiness?

 In the US (and in Canada and most of Europe), happiness is measured in dollars, In things.

 Stuff.

 People with money (the Jeff Bezo’s, Elon Musk’s and Donald Trump’s of the world) are all idolized. They are worshipped by average American’s. We are all told that this is the goal. THIS is what success looks like.

 But to me, success looks like a farmer in Northern Thailand, who plows his land with oxen and whistles while he works.

 Success is the mom who shares her “house” with her sister, but spends all day outside with her family. She cooks and sews and cleans up all day, but she doesn’t even own a phone.

 I know what it is like to be poor. I know what it’s like to make a lot of money and I know what it’s like to lose a lot of money. In the end, I was the most unhappy when I owed the most money, and had the least free time.

 Americans need perspective

 I have been alive through many wars. I was born during the Vietnam War, I saw us invade Iraq, then Afghanistan. I have witnessed wars and aggression in the far east, in Africa, In South America and now in the Ukraine.

 I have witnessed millions of people killed in these wars, while being fortunate never to have war come to me.

 I have lived through, witnessed, flown into or been part of rescue missions for over 30 hurricanes. I have seen devastation, destruction and deaths from so many natural disasters. I have lost property, personal items, furniture and my own art.

 I was laying in bed recently while reading about how many people in the Ukraine was without power as winter comes thinking how lucky I was at that moment.

 People don’t really consider how thankful they should be, except for one day a year and even then, most do not truly feel thankful.

 Borders are imaginary lines

 I am not a fan of nationalism. I have great respect for our country and what it has accomplished. I served in the military and I am proud of my service. But I am not blind to the horrors that our country has committed. The blood we have caused and the racism that we have not shook free from…

 Many Americans, especially those who want to close our borders, do not understand what it’s like to be born outside the US. They did not “earn” their citizenship, they were just lucky enough to be born in the US. Lucky enough to be born in a 1st world country.

 What are borders anyway? What separates an American from a Mexican? An imaginary line, created by people who took the land away from the original people who lived there. What was once Mexico, was taken away and is now considered the US.

 Borders change. Nationalities change, but in the end, we are all one people. We are all connected as brothers and sisters on this planet.

 And while politics tend to divide us, to scare us and to create tension in order to keep them in power, most Americans are not thankful that they have a HUGE advantage based on nothing that they did, only because their parents had unprotected sex and they happened to be born on US soil, within its current “borders”.

 What am I thankful for?

 This year, more than most, I am thankful that I was not taught to hate others just because they were born on the other side of an imaginary line. I realize how lucky I was to be born in the US. I am thankful that I have a place to live, even though it isn’t that fancy or big by western standards.

 I do not know if this is my only life, or if there will be  better time for me in another life, but I am thankful for this one.

 I am thankful that I am not having to fight a war or defend my home.

 I am thankful that I have a beautiful family than just expanded when my newest grandchild (Hazel) was born back in May.

 I am thankful that my home was spared by the hurricane that devastated so many homes in our community and the fire that followed.

 I am thankful that I hired a therapist, whom I talk to every week, while I try to learn how to be a better person and how to understand myself better.

 I am thankful that I have a great team of employees and business partners that make my job fulfilling and enjoyable.

 I am thankful to have so many great friends, who give me so much quality time to hang out and socialize with. Who are always there for me when needed and who come to me when they need something.

 I have a lot to be thankful for but most of all, I am thankful for the people who have showed me what love is and how to love.

 I am thankful to be loved and to love.

 I hope anyone who reads this takes a moment to look past everything that concerns them and takes a minute to be thankful. There is so many reasons to be thankful and I feel that we need to celebrate this feeling more than just once  year.

We are so much luckier than we will ever know.

Bob