Unicorn Etiquette—How to Attract One, How to Be One
The Unicorn is a magic figure not only in myths but in the lifestyle as well. They are single, usually bisexual/bi-curious, attractive people who like to play with couples. They are notoriously hard to find, hence the name. Couples who are interested in opening up their relationship can vary greatly in their ideals and boundaries. On the other hand, Unicorns may have their options, but finding the right couple to be intimate with can be just as tough.
With new online platforms like our Naughty Members site and Kasidie.com, it’s getting easier to narrow the search for unicorns and for couples looking for unicorns. It’s the best way to put yourself on the radar of like-minded people. When you do meet, follow keep these tips in mind, they will help you create the best unicorn situation possible whether you’re the couple, or you’re the unicorn.
HOW TO ATTRACT A UNICORN
Be Honest & Upfront About What You’re Looking For
Whether you’re looking for an evening fling, a strictly sexual relationship, or looking to add to your relationship, that needs to be communicated when approaching a unicorn because they (hopefully) have their own goals and boundaries that need to be considered.
Establish Boundaries and Discuss Fantasies
You & partner may have rules of your own. Ex: no kissing, only playing when together, no post-coital communication, etc. Be sure you both are on the same page as far as how you want to approach a unicorn situation. Also, discuss sexual fantasies you would like to play with; role play, BDSM scenes, things you’d like to see each other do or say, and then discuss these fantasies with your unicorn.
Offer to Hang Out First
Break the ice by suggesting a first-time meetup that doesn’t involve sex. Go out for dinner, get drinks, meet somewhere public, and just hang out for the first time. Get a feel for their vibe and then make your decision as to whether you’d like to have sex with them. This will make everyone feel more comfortable and help take some of the first-time jitters away.
Find Out What They Want
Unicorns are who they are for many reasons; some may be on a sexual journey and just want to explore, some are bisexual, for some, it’s a fetish, and for some, they are looking for a polyamorous relationship. Find out what your unicorn is looking for, why are they interested in couples? What do they like in bed? What turns them on?
Don’t Be Pushy
The wrong kind of persistence might be the death of this situation. Unicorns are single, free, and often quite social. Let them be themselves and take your time with them. If they don’t want to jump in bed straight from the bar or event where you met, that’s ok, give them some time and get to know them so they feel more comfortable with you. Navigating one person’s sexual energy is powerful on its own, but having to distribute your affection between two people can be intimidating, and the more comfortable everyone feels, the better the connection therefore the better the sex will be.
Be Respectful
Unicorns are actual people (so disappointing—I know), they have jobs, family, friends, personal lives just like you and your partner. Be sure you know when it’s ok to communicate with them if you’re going to keep in touch. Don’t obligate them to spend every weekend with you, or sleepover, be respectful of their time and personal lives. The more trust you establish (like in any relationship) the more successful your relationship will be with a Unicorn.
Embrace Change
There may come a time when your unicorn meets someone and gets into a relationship, or perhaps things happen in your relationship with your partner that will change the dynamic. Either way, the situation is bound to change at some point, and when that happens, it’s best to accept and embrace it. Just be grateful that you got to enjoy such a unique and sexy experience.
HOW TO BE A UNICORN
VET, VET, VET
When looking for couples to play with, do your research. Get a Naughty Membership or go on Kasidie.com and search for couples interested in unicorns. You’ll be able to see their profiles, look at their pictures, see the past events they’ve attended, and see their preferences. If you meet them for the first time in person, ask if they have a screen name on any lifestyle sites and search their profile. Vetting and making sure you are safe, compatible, and interested will help you find your ideal couple.
Take Your Time Finding Couples
Just because you’ve put yourself out there as a unicorn doesn’t mean you are obligated to have sex with every couple that approaches you. Take your time getting to know people, establish trust, build attraction and take it from there. It’s ok to have a type and hold out until you find that. Again, do your research and explore when YOU want to explore.
Learn to Say No
You can’t please everyone. You’re not going to want to have sex with every couple you meet and that’s fine. If you aren’t interested or don’t feel like playing, be strong enough to say no. Release your feelings of guilt or obligation. You don’t have to be rude but make sure you’re clear on what you’re saying.
Ask Questions
It’s important that you understand the dynamic of the couple you are playing with. Ask them what they are looking for, what is and isn’t ok in the relationship as it pertains to you, ask them if they have any fantasies. Get to know your couple, the more you know about their relationship the better you’ll know how to create a fun and sexy atmosphere when around them.
Be Respectful
If your couple has set rules, follow them. If it’s no kissing, or both people must be present in order to play, or whatever the rules are, respect them and don’t break their trust. If you’re finding it hard to respect their wishes, communicate that with them and see how you can work through that.
Have Clear Boundaries
Just as much respect as they deserve as a couple, you deserve the same respect. In order to get that respect, you need to have clear boundaries and enforce them. Whether it’s about communicating outside the bedroom, or a physical boundary, you have to communicate that to the couple so they know how to interact appropriately with you.
Be Drama-Free
Understand that your couple has a relationship outside of the one you have with them. It’s best not to get involved in anything that doesn’t have to do with you and the type of relationship you have with them. Everyone involved chose this situation because they wanted to have fun and explore something sexually. You represent that fun. Don’t get bogged down by causing or being involved in any drama. It is not your responsibility to heal or solve the issues in their relationship. Mind your business, control your emotions and have fun.
Bow Out Anytime
We are constantly evolving and learning new things about ourselves every day. One day, you may find that this no longer works for you or that you seek another type of intimacy. Whatever the reason, know that you can pump the breaks any time you want. The couple has each other, you have to do what is best for you. Communicate with them and move on.
And as always, be safe & use protection.
The best way to find each other is by joining an online lifestyle community, narrowing your searches, communicate and go to events you see posted. You can search unicorns and couples with a Naughty Membership
