DARE TO DREAM: A WORD FROM BOB
Right now, there are a lot of uncertainties and we understand why people do not want to spend money and book travel right now. Many do not have jobs, have not received their small business loans, their stimulus money or unemployment.
Times are hard for many and it is only going to get harder.
My fear is that people will lose hope and give up. Without goals and dreams, why should we fight? Why should we work so hard when this is going to consume us for weeks, months and maybe even years? We need hope more than ever during crises—and this is the biggest crisis most of us will see in our lifetime.
One will say that we are saying this because we want people to book our events so we can make money. Well, we are not ashamed that we earn a living by providing world-class events and travel opportunities, but this message is coming from a different place. We also need motivation and without our own personal goals and dreams, we are afraid of where we’d end up.
We have personally booked a cruise (no, not a lifestyle cruise), as well as, the Temptation Cruise and trips back to Mexico in the coming months. We are planning a trip to Thailand this winter and we are looking at a couple of “bucket list” travel destinations to round out our next year.
We are going back to Belize next year and this is one of our most anticipated events for us.
You see, we (Tess & Bob) need something to work for, something to make our everyday work worth it, because we know that there is something to look forward to…
Some people work to save up for a house, to buy a car, to help put their kids through college and those are all great goals and things to work for, but at the end of the day, we think we can benefit from having a travel goal in addition to these other goals.
WHY TRAVEL?
Because you get to see new places that are different from our everyday lives. We can travel with friends, which helps us form lifelong bonds and relationships. We can explore nature’s beauty, see sunsets, swim in the ocean, stand under a waterfall. We all need these kinds of experiences to break us away from our mundane lives, and especially after being cooped up for so long.
You also get to meet people in different cultures. You can try new foods and drinks. You can check out local music and meet interesting local “characters”. You don’t need to travel around the world to enjoy places that are “different” from home, we can all make short trips to discover places that are only a short drive or flight from where we call home.
NOT ALL SUPERHEROES WEAR CAPES
This year, we have one of our favorite theme nights: Super Heroes! People often dress up in full cosplay mode as their favorite superheroes or villains. We especially like the villains (they are usually more fun).
For this year’s theme night, we want you to consider something else, we want to expand your ideas of what a superhero is and encourage you to dress up as the superheroes that live amongst us.
My 1st thought goes out to the doctors and nurses that have been on the front lines of this battle. We should honor them by wearing scrubs or sexy doctors and nurses outfits.
We want to encourage those that want to pay tribute to the police, EMS, military, teachers and other real life superheroes that go to work every day in order to help others. Helping others is the best superpower anyone can have and we want to salute all of them at this year’s event.
Don’t worry, you can still wear that Spidey suit or that super sexy Harley Quinn outfit. We simply love Cat Woman and Wonder Woman, but for those that don’t like getting all dressed up, you now have some great options of real life American Heroes that you can honor by dressing like your favorite superhero, that doesn’t wear a cape.
WHAT DOES RESPONSIBILITY LOOK LIKE?
One of the biggest questions, facing almost every small business today is “when do we re-open?” Of course, this depends on whether or not a business is considered “essential” or not, but who decides what is essential?
Is Walmart really essential? I can’t go to my local bike shop to buy supplies for my bicycle, but I can go to Walmart. At my local bike shop, I would probably be the only customer, but at Walmart, I will have to weave through the throngs in order to find the bike parts I need. Which is safer?
Bars cannot open, but if a bar serves food, they can be open. Does eating food make one bar safer than another bar?
Soon, many places that have been shuttered are going to reopen and some are going to wait a little longer before reopening. It is a balancing act businesses much choose by weighing so many options and so many things that will affect their business.
Did they get a PPP or a Small Business loan? Do their employees want to come back to work? Can they make a profit being open with a 25% limit on their occupancy? Most restaurants operate on a thin profit margin and many cannot afford to reopen until they can get to at least 50% occupancy and even then, it will be hard to succeed.
LIFESTYLE CLUBS, RESORTS, CRUISES, AND HOTEL PARTIES HAVE ADDITIONAL CONCERNS
On top of all of the things listed above, lifestyle business owners have additional concerns to consider before they can reopen. Social distancing goes against everything you would typically find at a lifestyle club or event. How could playrooms possibly be safe? Imagine being on a lifestyle cruise after what we just saw the cruise industry go through. This is going to make reopening our industry even harder.
I saw some clubs like Colette, Bronze Party and the Body Shop close right away. They were some of the first clubs to close and I thought they were brave, but more importantly, they put their customer’s safety above their own profit. Kudos to them.
Now that things are reopening, I am seeing some clubs ready to open up immediately, some even before restaurants and nightclubs are open again in their state. This concerns me, especially when I do not see anything coming from the club about new, enhanced sanitation or protective procedures. They just want to be open. Now.
I have talked to other clubs who are consulting with experts in the field to put into place many procedures that will help kill any and all viruses, will reduce contact and help reduce possible spread of infection.
They are using chemicals that are currently working in South Korea and other parts of the world, which kills 100% of all viruses and bacteria for up to 30 days. They will be sanitizing the club weekly in order to make all surfaces as virus free as possible.
Some clubs will require all of their employees to wear masks and give masks out to customers for free. They are going to close group rooms and some will even close playrooms in their clubs entirely. Some will do temperature checks and are changing how money is handled (going to cashless systems) and how their food and drinks are served.
Many of these new procedures are here to stay and overall, this is good for our industry and will mean cleaner and safer environments for people still interested in meeting other open minded people.
We are fortunate, because we have time (three months) before our next event is planned, so we can watch and learn from all of the clubs that will be opening up around the country and we can see what is working and what isn’t, before our event takes place.
Like us, we hope you are watching these clubs and listening to what the clubs are doing and what new procedures are in place. Some won’t care and just want to get out and return to normal, but we feel that there will never be a return to the normal we used to know.
THIS ISN’T THE 1st TIME
I am old, so I remember when the HIV/AIDS epidemic hit in the 80’s and we were just starting our journey in non-monogamy. Lifestyle clubs were shut down in some cities. People were afraid to go to clubs anymore. They didn’t want to catch this new “disease”.
Eventually, people slowly went back to clubs and people went back to having non-monogamous sex. The big change back then was seen in condom use. The use of condoms in clubs took a big turn and condoms became almost mandatory in some clubs, while some people ignored the potential health risks and went on like nothing had happened.
As time went on, couples knew who were being careful and who weren’t. They made decisions on which clubs to go to and which couples to play with based on how serious the clubs were taking this new virus and how they saw other couples playing.
Like now, some couples will only play within a small circle of people that they know, trust and will be safer until things get better.
WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?
This is where we are today. There are many new procedures being recommended by the CDC and other health services agencies and we will all have to make personal choices after watching to see how clubs and other couples proceed.
Our clubs and industry have always had legal issues to deal with and issues of personal risk (STD’s, Viruses, pregnancy, etc…) in the past. This is yet another wake up call which should affect our industry from top to bottom and change the way non-monogamy is viewed and practiced for some time.
Unless your decision is to stay at home forever and never play with another human again, you must weigh your options and make informed decisions on how to proceed.
We are working with club owners, convention planners, cruise charter companies, resort owners and event producers to pool our ideas and information in an effort to come together for the greater good of, not just our industry, but the entire lifestyle movement.
While I have been a little disappointed by what I’ve seen some clubs do (or not do), I am very encouraged to see competitors sharing information in order to make us all safer.
This is the time for innovation, cooperation and more communication. We do not know how things will look like a year from now, or even five years from now, but I do know one thing: humans can be exceptionally compassionate and innovative when it counts and we have a lot of hope for our collective future.
We will be working hard, during these next 3 months, to do the best we can to create a safe and amazing experience for those that want to get out and see their old friends (and make some new ones). If things don’t continue to look better, we will cancel our event or move it to a time when it can be safe.
We are taking things one day at a time, but we wanted you to know that there are a lot of amazing people working very hard to ensure that this lifestyle never goes away.
Remember, they never did come up with a vaccine for HIV/AIDS, and it has been almost 40 years since that virus popped up. Yet, we have learned to live with this virus, we have found medicines to prevent it from getting worse and we have found protections (condoms) that allowed us to carry on.
We will get through this, but we need to be smart and proactive. Be safe and we hope to see you on the other side…
